I looked forward to the end of my Bachelor’s
degree with both apprehension and excitement. Apprehension because of finally
leaving the safe net of the academic world. Excitement because of entering the
world of employment, pay cheques and being able to finally fulfill responsibilities - the world of a grown up.
I was beginning to doubt all those promises
of increased employment opportunities after graduation though. I was creating
portfolios in just about every career website available, applying to any
suitable vacancy, unwillingly talking to uncles and aunties who promise my dad
to “do something” and “help out”. 2010 – it was during the recession. They
would be lucky if they got to keep their jobs themselves. Either they really
had good intentions to help, or they were just being typical and trying to show
off. Whichever it was, they could not really “do something” about my unemployed
status.
It gets rather annoying and depressing to receive
rejection emails or just no response at all. I met the requirements listed in
the advert – why did I not get a call back? I had convinced myself that the
whole world was against me. Being my dramatic self, I saw my future fade away
into this imaginary black hole. I was destined to be the young graduate who
just gets married and becomes a housewife. I would stay at home, have children
and make sure they got a good education. I would know how to make round coconut
rotis to go with a side of fish curry. I will then grow old completely
dependent on my husband and then just die one day.
Now, there is nothing wrong with being a
housewife. It’s just not the future I had imagined for myself. If any woman is
up for that challenge, that’s an amazing thing in itself. Now I’m not talking
about those housewives who compete with each other about who can make the spongiest
yet chocolatiest cake (I actually know ladies who do this. They complete the
act by fake complementing each other too) while gossiping about how it has been
6 weeks since someone got married and she’s still not pregnant (goodness! How dare
she want to settle into her new life and get to know her husband and new family
and all other new-ness happening around her before creating a new life and
bringing up a responsible citizen?! She must be nuts. Or infertile. Maybe she
is just infertile. Or maybe HE’s infertile! Oh wow! - If you are one of these people (the shoving
your nose into other people’s business kind; not the infertile or fertile kind:
then shame on you!!)). I’m talking about those women who work without payrolls,
days in lieu or annual leave. They are up before the family, go to bed after
them and constantly looking to improve the family’s way of life while having to
put up with the common misconception that they just stay home and watch soap
operas all day.
What
made me even more upset about imaginary dark future was that I did not even
know how to cook, or the first thing about maintaining a house or bringing up
children. I did not meet the requirements to become a housewife either! No job.
No married life. Nothing. I was just going to live with my parents until they
are alive and after their eyes I’ll have to live with my brothers and their
cruel wives (I’m sure they’ll be wonderful women. It’s just that this was a
negative time I was going through so everything had to match the sorrowful
setting and depressing violins playing in the background) and they would treat
me like a maid, which bought me back to one of my original dilemma’ s- I couldn't cook.
It was just – sad.
I made it sad.
When I think about it now, I should have
enjoyed that time more than just be a drama queen. I graduated in May 2010.
Then there was the summer. By September I landed two internships in different
cities and I managed to keep both at the same time, which kept me crazy busy and
I was loving it! I wasn’t making much money though and my internships finished in
March. I should have taken that time off to relax. What did I do instead? I
walked straight into panic zone.
By May 2011 I landed my first full time
paid job after graduating. It took me a year, but it was worth the wait. The
organization was well known and I got a job in the HR department, which is what
I was aiming for (although honestly I reached a point where I would have
probably settled for anything). I won’t forget that day easily: 19th
of May 2011.
2 years later, I am still with the company.
I can’t believe it has been two years already. In these two years I went
through 3 contracts, 3 different roles (all within HR though), and different
payscales with benefits. I saw people being hired and people being fired. Life
took people away from me, and bought new people to me. I started studying
again. I could afford to maintain and keep my dad’s car. I can spoil my
brothers with whatever they want.
I could do groceries, pay the bills, and
complain about doing all of this just for the fun of it (I need therapy. I
know).
Two years. A lot has happened.
I have grown from being a fresh graduate
looking for a job to a grown up with 2 years’ experience behind me. Life forced
me to grow. My job allowed me to decide how I want to grow.
Two years. It goes by a lot faster than we think.
A lot has happened. Too much to happen within just two years. But it did. It
all did. Some good; some not so good.
But I’m still here, at my desk, at my job,
with my name plate on the front. It makes me glad and grateful. I am happy. I
feel empowered and I thank God for that; I thank Him for it all.
I might just end up staying at home, having
children and make sure they got a good education. I would know how to make
round coconut rotis to go with a side of fish curry (I would be so proud of
myself if I could!). I will then definitely grow old, perhaps completely
dependent on my husband, and then definitely just die one day. But my life
wouldn’t disappear into an imaginary black hole. It would be a life I chose for
myself. Because I would no longer be that young graduate who got married just
because she couldn’t find a job, even when she was not ready for that new
chapter in life.
Here’s to walking around with a slight skip
to celebrate my two years here and hopefully for a wonderful and blessed career
ahead!
