Have you ever had one of those friends who
just….gets you? Well, I’m sure most of your friends do, which is why they are
your friends (ahh…the post lunch philosopher in me just ... kills me!).
I’m talking about a level above the best
friend level. A friend who completes
your sentences and who understands you – even when you don’t use words.
Okay, now it sounds like I’m talking about
my spouse. But that’s the thing…I’m not married to her (yes, it’s a girl!) nor
do I share any sort of a romantic relationship with her. In fact, she isn’t
even one of my oldest friends. But it is like, she’s me in the form of a
different person. No, she’s not a fragment of my imagination. I have pondered
on that thought for a while, but no – she’s a real person with a real family,
real life, real passport – real all. Plus, other people can see and speak to
her too so if I did actually imagine her, I’m pretty awesome and powerful to
have been able to put in her in the minds of others too! (oooh…must write that
down…cool ‘inception’ typish movie idea!)
As similar as she is to me, she is just as
much different as well.
I remember the very first moment I saw
Kareema* (I swear, there is no romantic relationshipness going on). It was our
fresher’s orientation day at university. I stood in this long line at the end
of which it would be determined whether my conditional acceptance will be made,
err…, unconditional or not. I was the only almost student in line with my mom.
She was terribly out of her place, but she stood there anyway. For her, she was
living the moment – backing her daughter to have the level of education she
never had. She was glowing with inhibited pride (I know that’s difficult to
picture but mama is the kind of person who will never come outright and tell
you she loves you or is proud of you. Instead, she’ll express it in the other
little things she does for you – like being the only mother standing in a line
full of young applicants). For me, I wanted to be independent like the other
girls, standing there with their made up faces, clicking away on their
non-nokia N70 phones (I am yet to move on to any post N70 generation phone, and
I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything :D), chewing gum and holding on
to their oversized and doubtfully original handbags. Okay, in reality I didn’t
want to be like them. At the time I felt so out of place that I just wanted to
blend in. I was like…a bowl of wattalapan on a table full of tiramisus, cheesecakes,
soufflés and a variety of delicate French pastries.
Standing in front of me were two girls who
appeared...well…normal! They both were makeup less, with normal clothes,
holding onto normal bags, wearing genuine smiles as they chatted to each other.
They were clearly friends. Perhaps from the same school? Both of them would end
up being the people I was closest to throughout university, and after. One of
them was Kareema.
I remember whispering to my mother about
how much this girl resembles this other classmate of mine from high school.
Months later I was to find out that Kareema did actually know this other
classmate of mine. It was one of the most amazing yet freaky revelations of
that semester. We met again by chance and I don’t remember us ever not being
together after that. We were in similar programs: my major was psychology and
minor was HRM; her major was HRM and minor was psychology, so most of our
classes were the same. She is one of the best team mates and study partners
ever! Kareema is one of those people who make every idea that your brain
manages to squeeze out appear to be the most life changing, earth revolving,
stars brightening ideas ever! She has a way of making you feel on top of the
world. Like a genius of some sort. All this while subtly adding her own
geniusness to your thoughts making the whole thought a beyond superb systematic
cloud of awesomeness.
That is not the only reason why I love her
though.
Kareema shares my appreciation for a nice
filling meal at the best rates possible. We are hungry and economical at the
same time. Not just that. We are also very emotional and take in every moment
of the process: deciding where to eat, deciding what to eat, deciding what else
to eat, choosing where to sit and eat, and finally – actually eating. We have occasion
moments of secretly holding hands, staring into each other’s eyes and sighing.
All this while being non-romantic. I cannot stress on this point enough. Please…potential
marriage suitors – do not be shooed off. I’m not being desperate for your
attention though. I’m just stating the facts. I’m not going to talk about this
anymore because it’s going way off track…
That is not the only reason why I love her
though.
Although we are from completely different
cultural backgrounds, it is almost as if our families met before our birth and
agreed on the terms and conditions regarding our upbringing. That is how
similar our values and understanding of certain traditions are. I never have to
justify our odd Sri Lankan attitudes or beliefs to her. She just understands
the madness of it all!
That is not the only reason why I love her
though.
I see myself in Kareema. Only she is a more
advanced, kinder, more loving and nurturing version of me. I never have to
think twice about what I say or how she will perceive things. I have never
doubted her either. She makes everyone and everything around her better. And
she does it all so effortlessly. She will never accept the fact that she is
graceful and looks like a floating angel (in the correct lighting), but that is
the truth. Kareema radiates niceness.
She is a friend. A true friend. She is
everything those cheesy friendship quotes talk about.
She is not the MD sauce to me being the
fish cutlet. Instead, she is yet another fish cutlet in the huge plate of fish
cutlets - only she is the perfectly rounded one with the exact amount of tuna,
potatoes and onions, coated evenly with a layer of breadcrumbs and fried to
perfection to have a beautiful shade of brown on all sides.
Just for the record, I do not imagine
rolling my friends into fish cutlets and frying them. It’s just how I express
my love. Think not with your heart, but with your tummy. I shall stop now.
I don’t consider birthdays to be very
special. It used to be the biggest thing ever when I was a kid, but I grew out
of it over the years. Having said that though, I see birthdays and other commercially
created ‘days’ as an excuse. An excuse for the ‘main person’ to ask to be
spoiled, and for everyone around them to do the spoiling. An excuse for people
to make time – an act that would otherwise be seen as impossible – out of their
busy schedules and routines to enjoy with the main person. If not anything
else, it is an excuse to outwardly express love and appreciation and not just
hold those feelings inside. It is very challenging for people like my chubby
mommy, but very much appreciated by attention and love hungry individuals like
myself.
Today is the day Kareema was born. She
turns 23.
She’s exactly 5 days younger than me. This
is not relevant to anything, but I just find it awesome that even our dates of
birth are as close as we are!
In the short time that I have known her
(not exactly short. It’s been almost 6 years), she has gone from being the girl
in the line waiting to uncondition her conditional letter of acceptance, to an acquaintance,
to the girl whose name I cannot pronounce or remember for some reason, to a
friend, to a best friend, to someone I cannot imagine getting by a day in uni
without, to a sister I was not born with.
I do not consider birthdays to be very
special, but I am so grateful that 23 years ago Kareema was born and that
destiny was written for her to be a part of my life.
Happy Birthday, Kareema. I hope you have a
fantastic day. May God continue to bless and guide you.
I cannot
summarize or list the various reasons why I love you. But I just do love you.
And that requires no reasoning.
Thank you for being you.
xoxo
*Name
changed for no reason whatsoever.
